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Letter From DR, Who Had Relationship Problems

I sympathize with those who have had relationship problems. I have recently gone through the move others are about to make. I have learn so much and continue to earn more everyday. First, let me say that without a doubt, you can find the kind of girl you are looking for. There is an essentially unlimited pool of women who would love to date you here. And many, many are what you're looking for, but they are the ones you will have to put the effort into get them.

They will NOT approach you and they usually are not on the internet. (But a few are.) Those on the internet are the ones who are MOST likely to be what you don't want the MTV/Cosmo influenced girls. But, since I have recently moved here and learned A LOT fast. I have a few suggestions: First, avoid Manila. The girls there are far less likely to have the values you seek. Or they will be province girls who have come to "the big city" in the belief that the streets are paved with gold and quickly become desperate and, as such, do desperate things. I have traveled much of the country and find Cebu city to be the best for a new-comer (at least until you become grounded) especially if you are an American. Cebu is probably the most American friendly place in the country. (Not to mention the most progressive.)Second, BE WARE. Be wary of the girls, be ware of anyone who offers to help you (foreigners included). There are MANY, MANY scams and scam artists. I moved here after dating a girl for 8 months over the internet and phone, visited for 6 weeks, then moved here. A week after moving here (after selling my house in the US, etc.) she confesses to me that she got engaged to another American since my last visit... I NEVER would have thought her capable of such a thing, but I was wrong. I have always considered myself a good judge of character, but I have found that Filipinos are VERY good liar’s. Also; the culture here allows people to justify almost anything in the name of "survival". And many have a very broad definition of "survival". (Essentially anything that means they get money is helping them to "survive".) So, when it comes to getting married, take things slow. Many girls will try to rush you into marriage, but don't allow them too. If they are rushing, their improbably a reason. Also, don't forget the prenuptial agreement...and if she has a probably with signing one, I GUARANTEE you DO NOT want too marry her! Third, never forget that you are a "foreigner". Being a "foreigner" means that you are expected to pay a higher price than a Filipino and this is pretty much an accepted practice by all Filipinos...don't expect other Filipinos to sympathize with you just because you are the victim of a double standard). This double standard is an accepted practice. Be a foreigner also means that if the shit ever hits the fan, you are the "odd-man-out".

And this includes your future in-laws. Blood runs thicker than water. If their is an issue with the family, don't be surprised when your wife sides with her family over you, her husband. Now, having written all of this, I don't want to be all negative. I was just surprised that no one else had given you this helpful advice. I think there are many great things about living here, the good women tops among them. But, I thought you could also benefit from some of my hard-learned lessons. DR

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