Big trouble in little Alabang. . .

[dylanaz]

About 6 months ago we decided to move from Butuan and rent a house near Alabang. The 21 year old owner has a retired asawa in the USA and owns about 5 new properties and 3 were vacant for about 1 year. We choose a 3 bedroom unit that had never been lived in yet as evidenced by not having a water meter installed. It was very nice... until the big storm a few months ago turned the house into a swimming pool.

The owner offered us her nearest property and apologized explaining she had no clue it had a flood problem because it was never occupied before. The replacement unit had 4 bedrooms but needed some repairs (Both toilets were broke and the ceiling leaked from the 2nd floor patio when it rained) due to the previous/1st tennant. The only problem is that the 4 bedroom unit is attached to her families home. That was ok because we generally keep to ourselves and ony drank with them twice in several months.

So... where is the problem?
After all its a nice family... The owner, her mother, father, brother, cousin, brothers wife, their toddler child and 2nd brother all live there in a double sized unit. There is more than enough room there for 8 people.

We were always greeted and returned the greetings until about a month ago. I offered them a hand when they needed it. Once they needed to borrow money and I just ammended the rental agreement to show pre-payment in the amount they needed. So they got their money and I got a 12 months pre-paid lease in writing. Somtimes they borrowed my china-motorcycle and I let the use it as well.

The cousin asked for our help one evening. Her brother, who works in her mothers sari-sari store about 20 yards away did not return home that evening. It was about 11pm and she wanted us to drive her around to go find him. I casually replied that her younger brother is 22 years of age and is probably just on a date  - noting that she should not worry. She exclaimed that I dont understand the Filipino culture and that a 22 year old male is still considered a "baby". I just smiled and returned to my home. Later that night while in bed I realized that if he did turn up dead or something I would feel bad so I sent a TXT for them to contact us if they still needed help looking for him and was able to sleep easier that nite.

They next day we buy some items from the family sari-sari store (they own 2 nearby) and the brother was alive and well. But since then we are not greeted like we used to be greeted... things have changed. Living in the same lot I think its a good idea to keep the greetings present...

1 or 2 weeks ago the owners father had to be taken to the hospital for a stoke. He looks under 65 and in good health. Just by chance the family asked to borrow money a few days earlier and I told them we were in need ourselves at this time and unable to. Several days after they invite us to the hospital to go visit him. I asked which hospital and said I will "try" to go there but gave no gurantees. I did not go because...

The owner casually mentioned the medical bills are close to 100k and they have no budget. I reminded her that she has a new fully paid in cash American SUV that can be sold to get the money she needs along with many other expensive items including their 50" plasma TV (we have a 2nd hand P95k korea car that needed repairs and a china big old CRT TV). They have not greeted us in a week since then...

Well.. that made things borderline until last night. Earlier I mentioned the house had a leak so I decided to finally fix it yesterday. I took thee easy way out and decided to construct an awning over the patio so the water rolls off and does not sit stagnant in the patio creating leaks below. A couple of 2x4's and some color-matched roofing sheets had a pricetag around P1000 - easy fix - I just never had the time until now. It had been a few months and we have had a total of zero visitors here. Last nite we had 2 girls from a nearby subdivision help with cleaning while I did the patio. I finished about 1am and teh owners family were still awake outside socializing... Its normal for them to do that at late hours but while working I overheard a few bits of the conversaiton. They talked about us having 2 girls in the house and asked themselves what we were doing in there. The girls are about 30 and 20 (the 30 year old is a Dasma Lasalle Alumni or something and goes there often for functions)- they dress like boys and I assumed they were a couple. Nothing out of the ordinary.

I decided to go introduce them when I heard it mentioned again so out the door we go to be greeted by all our garbage bags and boxes spread across the shared yard. Their 2 puppies had destroyed the garbage in the few hours we spent fixing the problem room. The puppies ran up to me and I simply petted them and said "no more treats for you" because I purchased dog biscuits for them earlier that day - they usually eat rice and veggies. The owners 24 year old cousin said I should have put the garbage farther away from the puppies and I replied (probably in the wrong way) "too late now, isnt it?" . We never got to introduce our help because of this and I told the family I will clean it up after I drop off the helpers. 10 minutes later I returned, cleaned it all up in about 5 minutes or less and no one was around. They were already in bed but... about 2am decided to make a few calls to usa (thanks to vonage) and noticed they sent me a txt message at midnite... 1 hour before I discovered the garbage. The message read "UR SHIT IS ALL OVER OUR GARAGE. PLEASE CLEAN IT UP ASAP COZ ANTS R ALL OVER THE PLACE TNX" and a follow up from them 30 minutes later (my cell phone was in my desk) "R U COMING OUT 2 CLEAN IT UP. ITS NASTY OUT HERE."

I installed a doorbell. No one ever rang or knocked and their social area is at my front door. Its faster to ring the bell than to txt.

Anyone know of a way to fix something like this? We were going back to USA for a few weeks this month but decided to wait to next month so we can fix this first. There are just too many valuable items in the house to leave on uneasy terms. Pro-tools/Cubase 4 Music recording studio, guitars, keyboards and about 1/2 dozen brand new core2duo computers.

Any and all input is welcome.

[dylanaz]

Basically it all comes down to one thing. How do we keep on good terms with them while still saying NO everytime they need to borrow? These are NOT poor people we are talking about.

We know they will be our instant best friends if we let them keep borrowing. We just want good terms with no borrowing because we already have people we have known for many years to help before we help those we just met a few months ago 

Especially when you think almost everything they have is already better than ours (computers excluded)

They have:
50" plasma TV - we have china-tv/CRT
New SUV - we have a 90's 4 door Korea car
King size bed wood and leather - we have a queen with metal frame
2HP split Aircon - we have ONE 0.6 window unit we picked up at abenson
Standard USA full metal Washer and dryer for laundry - we have no machine for wash or dry
 

[BenK]

I'd say you need to think about relocating, and probably sooner the better. There's a certain personality among some people that I've learned to avoid, and without going into a long-winded description, let's just say that your neighbors have exactly that personality. Only solution is to get away from it.

[lwood]

I agree, put your stuff in storage (if you can find a safe place) and go back to the US with peace of mind.  This should be a lesson in filipino culture for you.  Never let the locals get too close to you and never lend them money.  And if possible, don't let them see your belongings.  As americanos, you are always presumed to have money and they always are envious of you.  Your things are not safe leaving them at your present residence and I will venture to say you will have a hard time finding a secure place to store them.

In the states, I never was asked, by anyone, to borrow money.  I don't understand why people here find it very easy to ask to borrow money.  I find it very offensive when they do that.  I'm not talking about just the poor people, it's the well off ones also.  Have they no dignity or self pride?  This is one of the many cultural differences that we must adjust to while living in the Philippines.  The water has been poisoned with your landlord now and you should just move on.  In the future, I would find a place to rent in a gated community with an absentee landlord. pay your 10,000 pesos per month and be left alone.  Just my opinion.

[Flt Simulation]

I have learned that you just can't become close friends with Filipinos that are not in your immediate family. For some reason, sooner or later they will ask to borrow money ... Yup, it has to be a cultural thing. And if you lend money to them, the chances of getting paid back are slim to none.

I just tell them politely that I am not the bank and suggest they either find one of those Indian 5-6 loan sharks, or go get a loan from the bank. Seems like the majority of the population always has some kind of "emergency" going on that requires money.

If you stay in that rented residence, I guess you are looking at a 50-50 chance of loosing something when your gone. Moving is expensive ... Can't you find a relative of your wife that can stay in your place while you are gone ... That's the easiest way out of your problem.

Again, getting too close to the locals is never a good idea for us ... not in this country.

Ron,

[Beatle]

       dylanaz,
                    actually there is an easy way to take care of your home while you are gone.  first, home doors and windows are in your house?

     
       Ray

[dylanaz]

                    actually there is an easy way to take care of your home while you are gone.  first, home doors and windows are in your house?

Thanks for the input everyone. yes, my home has doors and windows. I think they are called butterfly windows - where they swing out and meet at the center to latch.

Is there something we should do to our doors and windows before we leave?

The neighbors were nice to me for 2 days in a row ! Nice... I thought for a moment they realized their faults but....

I was changing break pads on my nice, maintenance free  korea car 2 days ago and was greeted by the owner. She had a few post-dated checks already made out and offered them to me to hold so they can borrow P35k until they get cash in one month for the house/lot they just sold (I saw the new owner moving in today).

Nice time to ask also... its not like I was repairing my broke car or anything, but I declined noting that checks are nothing more than just paper with ink scribbled on it and suggested she could transfer her SUV into my name at LTO until the P35k is paid back. After a looooooong silence I then suggested she compile a list of things she could give as collateral such as her plasma TV or the USA made washer and electric dryer.

I have not heard from them since then.

Her husband is in USA somewhere. He already purchased 1/2 dozen house/lots here - I wonder why he isnt able to lend 35k, but I wont ask - I would hate for the story to lead to another borrow situation. Maybe he has trouble too.

Im not sure, but I think the problem may be that they are too young to be in control of property and decisions to do with it. Either way we have looked at a lot of property in the past week.

[Beatle]

      dylanaz,
                   I'm sorry I meant to say " how many doors and windows do you have?   heres the reason I ask,   by the way it sounds you have a pretty good amount of money put into the things you own thats inside the house. If this is true than what I am about to suggest would be worth doing.  Buy enough plywood that when cut, would fit over the the inside frame of each window and nail it closed ( from the inside ). it would be like you are getting ready for a typhoon except its on the inside. And if you can't use nails because it would damage some nice framework, then cut the plywood to fit snug on the inside of the window frame and use wedges. if you have two doors nail one shut when its time to leave from the inside, now lock the dead bolt and put a large nail at the top and one at the bottom of the door or put a paddlelock at the top and one at the bottom.

        This might sound a bit drastic, but if you want to come home and find your possessions, then by the way it sounds you need to do something drastic and when you get back, rent a moving truck.


     Ray

[B-Ray]

What Beatle has offered seem over kill and basicly will not stop anyone that wants to get in, PERIOD! If such conditions are true to need such, pack-up and get the hell out of dodge with NO 2nd thoughts!

If worrying about what might or might not be left, WHY GO?

We have locals that have PROVEN to be worthy as caregiver to the property when we are gone. They eat our food and sleep in our bed. BTW, the 1st time, they, (husband and wife), slept on the floor and I got on their case about that. 
B-Ray

[dylanaz]

If worrying about what might or might now be left, WHY GO?

I agree... these non refundable first class tickets were supposed to be our last trip to USA 
3 weeks just to send everything we want back in balikbayan boxes and ship the Harley from Los Angeles.

Yes, we may just be over-thinking what-ifs but I like your idea... Looks like we needed a live-in... if only this was not our last trip out of PI...

We were just thinking if borrowing is so important to some people... and we are gone for 3 weeks... they may get tempted... to "borrow" when we are gone...

Maybe it will be ok.... maybe not... but I know if we dont find a solution in about 1 week I will be thinking about it 24 hrs a day for the 3 weeks while we are in USA shipping those boxes back...

Im leaning towards 2 ftp-internet security cams and some type of device that can call a telephone number if the motion detector is triggered or if the picture is disturbed. (if it exists here and can be found in 1 week)

Isnt it nice being able to relax before your last big move... We choose the Alabang area because it seemed to be more relaxing in the long run than our place in Mindanao.... maybe we were wrong...

[Wayne Coutts]

Get a house sitter, pay someone who is trusted to stay there whilst you are gone and look after your place. You are looking at some kind of advanced security when what you really need is a person to stay there when you are gone. Find a retired police man, they are all over the place and many would jump at the chance to make some extra cash. I'll find one for you if you want.

[dylanaz]

That sounds like a plan. Tnx for the idea. We had a housekeeper who went away to the province last year to be with her baby. Lets see if we can locate her.

Hopefully I will have 1 or 2 cams set up and working by tomorrow.
With both of those in place we will be able to sleep well while in the USA for our short trip!


And it all started because our rental turned into a swimming pool during heavy rains....  some people pay millions of peso for swimming pools... we had a free one every downpour   

So... just remind me... the next time someone says "hey -X is much better than Y".... just say "X is nice but Im contented to my Y"

[dylanaz]

ENDNOTE:
9x11x24 safety deposit boxes are available at local banks. Most banks were sold out with waiting lists for the bigger boxes, but I found one under 1 hour away...

...and 9x11 holds a 17" widescreen laptop just fine when placed diagonally in the box !

The bank told me it was about P1600 for that size and only one was available. That sounded like a lot to pay each month but when I thought about the security it provided I decided to take 2.... so I have a 4x10x24 as well for P1000 and will HOPE a bigger box becomes available soon...

Ooh... after I paid I was informed the fee was NOT monthly... its a YEARLY fee   

Worth it when you have little things that may be hard to replace... like a few TB's of raid backup storage... etc.

[Wayne Coutts]

Now there is a business idea worthy of exploration, business and personal self storage is huge in other parts of the world, why not here... Especially in some of our major towns the opportunity exists to put up self storage for people who want to store stuff whilst they are away on business or just don't have enough room to stock overflow. This could turn into a boon for some lucky guy...

Wayne

[stillbilly2002]

Thanks Wayne I will remember about the retired policeman..good idea.    Self-storage...everybody allways has a lot of stuff,thats for sure. stillbilly