Is there any chance

[Foreigner]

I agree with what everyone has said about your situation.

Speaking from my experience I can tell you that your chances with this girl are NOT good.  I was in a similar situation to you about 9 months ago with a bar girl I met in PI (see Foreigner's First Post). I developed an attraction for her through email and webcam, same as you.

I went to see her in PI a couple of months ago and found out that she has been 'sponsored' for some months prior to my visit by a very wealthy expat.  Needless to say that my affections were no longer required and she told me she intended marrying her sponsor (as soon as his divorce comes through  )

Although I didn't get taken for money (well not too much), I learnt a valuable lesson - for girls in this business its about money and security.  They don't want to work in their environment but do so out of necessity.  As a consequence they will do anything to get away from the lives they now lead and will take the first opportunity that is presented to them.  Wouldn't you if you were in their situation? 

Not saying that this will happen to you, but be careful and be prepared for many other revelations for which you will be totally unaware.

Cheers

[Gray Wolf]

Ah come on , I seen on a cnn poll that 70% of men have visited a porn site.
Ill bet out of the remaining 30%, i bet 29% are lier's.  hehehe

You may be right about 99% of men have visited a porn site, but I guarantee that 99.99% of them would not even think about marrying any of the girls they see there.

Colin

Colin, I agree with you on that observation 110%!!

[c_a_p_t_a_i_n_r_o_n]

my 2 cents worth

odds are almost definitely stacked against you

what you find attractive in this lady you will find in 95% of Filipinas (not the porn site stuff!!!)
they are caring, loving adorable people

There's a story I believe on the http://livinginthephilippines.com website about getting involved with a "bar girl"

The moral of the story is that you can take the girl out of the bar but not necessarily take the bar out of the girl

It's meant to be a warning and not a condemnation of all "bar girls"

[Colin]

Some years ago we were taken by friends to the Mildenhall US airbase in the UK to celebrate independence day. The wife there was an ex-bar girl, very pleasant but a bit of a rough diamond. When the husband went to visit his parents in Hawaii, he could not take her with him because the parents refused to meet her. One of the hazards of the profession.

Colin

[brassai]

Thanks for the input, just an update here I jumped ship. I met someone on a Filipino dating site yesterday and we have been getting to no each other thru chatting , emails, and phone. I learned one thing u don't call a good one Hun to soon or she will drop ya like a hot potato. hehehe Luckally she gave me another chance. I think I'm heading down a good road.  Thanks for the help.

[Colin]

I learned one thing u don't call a good one Hun to soon or she will drop ya like a hot potato.

That is hardly surprising. A Hun is described as either a barbarous or destructive person, or is offensive slang used as a disparaging term for a German, especially a German soldier in World War I. 

Colin

[Gray Wolf]

Thanks for the input, just an update here I jumped ship. I met someone on a Filipino dating site yesterday and we have been getting to no each other thru chatting , emails, and phone. I learned one thing u don't call a good one Hun to soon or she will drop ya like a hot potato. hehehe Luckally she gave me another chance. I think I'm heading down a good road.  Thanks for the help.

I believe you perhaps meant to type "hon", short for "honey" ?   Some girls don't like to get too friendly too soon.  Others may have had certain words thrown their way so often they decide they never want to hear them again, thinking that you're only trying to be nice until you get what you want.

At any rate, if I read your post correctly, you've now moved on to a different girl.  If so, I think it was a good move.  I didn't hold out much hope for your original girl, considering what she did for a living.

Good Luck with this one!  Read this link to our website and watch out for the scammers.

http://livinginthephilippines.com/#watchoutfor

[jcholmes77]

I spent a little time talking to men who have been there like me.  There is a major difference between the bargirls, camgirls, and prostitutes in the philippines and the ones in america. At least as far as I and friends have seen. 
In America, they prostitute them selves to buy drugs and alcohal for the most part.  One poison used to buy another poison to use.
In the Philippines, these girls do these jobs to live. Be it to take care of themselves, or their kids, or to help the family make money.  There are the girls who are bad like most American girls, but most turn to it due to the need to make money.  To me it breaks my heart.  There is nothing much I can or will do about it, because I am very happy with my wife, but it is sad to see this done as a business as much as it is in the Philippines.
So yes, you can work it out with her, but also as mentioned above, watch out for the scam artists just after your money.  Good luck with whatever choice you make.

[dylanaz]

I spent a little time talking to men ...

Im sorry - you lost me at this sentence.... what did the rest of it say 

jk...

I have so many stories about this, but when I write them - it will be shown in a different time and place to protect the innocent 

Honestly it makes me pretty ticked off... one recent example I paid a girls way through college - she lands an average job making around $200 a month. Her mom would turn off her alarm clock/cell phone when she was sleeping so she could miss work.

Her mother told her she is too tired getting up everyday and if she goes to a bar like her sisters then she only has to work once a week and still bring home the same amount of money !

GrrrrrrrRRrrrrr

Her mom sux... but ... putting everything else aside... she was correct financially speaking...  also this is teh same mom that would slap her daughter if she ever mentioned sleeping for money when neighbors were around... they want no one to know... Grrrrrrr!

[jcholmes77]

Dylan,
wow, that is just messed up.  sounds like the mom wants her cake and eat it to.  that is something that will break my heart and do either a hardening of my heart to help or make me work harder to help more.   I guess I'm sure I'll see more of those things when I stay there more and more.  Probably have a lot more questions for you then on how to handle certain situations.  Thanks for the heads up man.

[CanoNoMo]

some of you guys posts suprise me considered your married to philipinas....
But the origilal poster asks" is there any chance"?  yes there is a chance, get to know her, find out her feelings and reasons for working that job, if you feel she can be the one..DEFINATELY go meet her
I speak from experience and a 3+ year relationship
I went into way to much personal details but this is my experience http://livinginthephilippines.com/forum/index.php/topic,3506.msg28524.html#msg28524

Peace!

[RUFUS]

some of you guys posts suprise me considered your married to philipinas....
But the origilal poster asks" is there any chance"?  yes there is a chance, get to know her, find out her feelings and reasons for working that job, if you feel she can be the one..DEFINATELY go meet her
I speak from experience and a 3+ year relationship
I went into way to much personal details but this is my experience http://livinginthephilippines.com/forum/index.php/topic,3506.msg28524.html#msg28524

Peace!

The RUFUS says ... If it works for you, who gives a rats A$$ what ANYBODY else thinks.
If your situation is good for you, go for it. The posts by others are just a concern for those other people that may not know what is, and a warning to think with the correct head. Your situation can only be yours to evaluate as whether or not things will work out for you... (hows that for lawyer-ese...lol)

[dick7517]

 Right on RUFUS as usual

[Dirtyjay]

"She wants me to visit her in Cebu,and has said she would love to come back with me to the us but i should visit her 1st it makes it easier for her to get a visa."

That is the only line in your post that should cause any concerns. Sounds like the girl may be fairly familiar with K1 Visa requirements --- and if so that would raise some questions for me.

As far as the rest goes ---- make up your own mind ---listen to both head and gut. You know this girl --- none of us that give feedback knows her at all. No matter how or where you meet a girl there is always a chance that things work out  and always a chance that things go bad. Don't make the mistake of judging the girl by what she does to survive --- that is much less important than who she is as a person --- and you are the only one who can know that --- the opinions and experiences of the rest of us are not nearly as important as your own.

Good luck whatever you decide to do