I post this Michael Tan article for two reasons, his usual good writing and to let you know there are many used cell phones available here at low prices. Not having a cell phone here is rare. I abhor them but have one myself. I admire Robert Warren who has managed to get along very well without one, the only foreigner I know who lives here who does not have one. I think Michael is a little optimistic in this one. Don't expect a new kind of *buena mano* from businesses anytime soon. But it is a nice thought.

THE WEEK before last, I bought a used cellar phone from one of the many vendors in Virra Mall Center in the Greenhills commercial center in San Juan City. Within two days, it broke down but I wasn't too worried. The vendor had given me a receipt and assured me I could exchange a defective product within a week. So off I went one morning, catching the cell-phone dealers around 10 a.m. as they were setting up their booth. Ever so pleasantly, I went over to the booth where I had bought the defective phone and showed the vendor my receipt. I was aghast when she snapped back in Tagalog, ""Come back at 11. We haven't had our buena mano yet."" For those not familiar with the term, ""buena mano"" is Spanish for ""good hand."" Many cultures, not just our own, have this magical belief that a good sale -- a transaction involving the hands -- at the start of the day brings in more customers and more transactions. ""Good"" is defined in many ways. It can be a large transaction, which means more money. Or it can be an early sale, which means you won't have to wait long for succeeding customers. The incident at Virra Mall made me realize there was still another definition of ""good"" and this was an ""easy"" transaction, one done without any acrimony. This was why the dealers generally try to avoid handling complaints. When they asked me to come back, what they meant was that they wanted to make a sale first, the buena mano, rather than deal with a bad mouth. I was slightly irritated and offered to make the buena mano by buying a mobile headset. But no, the woman insisted I come back at 11, explaining that she had to first finish setting up her booth. Again, the anthropologist in me took over and I tried to be understanding. I knew there were all kinds of rituals involved here. It wasn't just a matter of arranging the phones and accessories in the glass cabinets. They had to put money in the shelves as well -- again a magical practice that presumes money, like the buena mano, generates more money. But even as I processed this magical logic, I knew I had to say my piece. I retorted, voice slightly raised, that I had to go to work and couldn't wait around another hour. I told them that as a compromise, I would return in half an hour and they better deal with my case. After all, I pointed out, they had sold me a defective phone and they owed me. I returned half an hour later, and this time it was another vendor who responded. She was there earlier in the morning but had been quiet. This time, all smiles, she apologized for her companion, claiming that she wasn't very diplomatic and that they'd scolded her in the past for that. I nodded and apologized, too, for my ""outburst."" (My friends know a Mike Tan outburst is all too often quite ineffective, sometimes even too friendly.) But I did add, knowing that she and most other vendors in Virra Mall were Muslim, that rudeness and the flaring of tempers weren't right, especially since it was Ramadan, the Islamic month for fasting, prayer and reflection. As we went about picking a replacement phone, I talked about the need to be honest with customers. I've received so many complaints from friends who have been in similar predicaments, ending up with lemons and vendors refusing to exchange the phones. I told my dealer that I knew used cell-phones were always problematic, and that sometimes defects don't emerge until after a few days, which was fine, as long as they honored the agreement, in a written receipt, to exchange the problem phone within seven days. There is a lesson to pick up from all this, one that is not limited to Ramadan and Muslim entrepreneurs, and this is the need to counter buena mano as a magical belief. Unfortunately, many Filipino business people still limit the idea of buena mano to an exchange of money at the beginning of the day, one which they think will automatically bring in more money. It's time we -- Muslims, Christians, Buddhists, whatever -- expanded this notion of buena mano to refer to business ethics. A ""good hand"" is an honest hand. As I explained to the Virra Mall vendor, who has since become my friend, if you offer fair deals and efficient customer support, then you have a buena mano. The buena mano is not in the buying itself, but in the goodwill and trust generated by the vendor's own ethical practices, together with graciousness and a sense of service. All that comes together to keep the cash register ringing, in terms of returning customers and the friends they bring along. So, if you end up with a defective product bought from one of the many ""tiangge"" (bazaars), you might want to go first thing in the morning to settle this. Many Filipino entrepreneurs will avoid having to deal with arguments early in the day and will settle amicably. But don't stop with that. If they respond well, compliment them, and if they don't, stand up for your rights. No matter what you do though, do plug in the need to develop a new buena mano appropriate to our times.

When my wife first arrived in the US, she was cautioned by other Filipinas to subdue her 'confrontational' personality, as she was just a foreigner, and a 'guest' in America. Having already lived 29 years in the RP without kissing any butt, she replied that she was a citizen of this earth, and had a voice to speak no matter where on earth she resided. She had the pleasure, during our 10 years there, of being a participant in our community, and educating the few who assumed that Filipinas are meek victims and could be easily intimidated. It's been said that when your host stops waiting on you, it's the signal that you are no longer a guest. As long as we are paying our own way, navigating the road of life like anyone else here, we'll continue to have an opinion, and a voice. We're not guests, we *live* here.

Either way, who am *I* to judge Filipinos anyway? Certainly not their driving. As an American citizen, I am a guest in their country, as any other foreigner is.

Their website has all the earmarks of a multilevel marketing scheme involving gold coins and jewelry. A few years ago there was a big diamond scam popular in the US in which the sponsor company promised to buy back any diamonds you bought from them. Unfortunately, the diamonds were not market quality and the prices were inflated. I don't have personal knowledge of Gold Quest, but everything on the site has the appearance of ""Amway-type"" marketing. If you have money to invest, keep it in money market cd's until for a while until your pockets cool down/p>

I would like to move to the Philippines, and I I have some very specific questions. Here they are. I have an income of $1400 dollars after taxes. This is U.S. dollars. I want to know if I can survive with my girlfriend in Cebu on this amount. My tastes are moderate. I want a small T.V. with satelite, and internet. I'd like a 2 bedroom dwelling. It doesn't matter if it's an apartment or what. I'd like one maid that does not live with us. Basically we are simple people. We just want to sit on the beach and read alot. On weekends we'd like to take the occasional trip to see more of the islands. Our only real necessity is air conditioning. If we have to give up something else to get it, then we are willing to do so. That is a must have for us. We are not interested in clubs, or nightlife, except the occasional movie and dinner date about once a month. I'm 27 and she's 22. We are not interested in owning a business or working for a living. My income will grow over the years, as I get a cost of living raise of 4% every year. We don't smoke or drink. We like to eat good food, but nothing expensive or exotic. There are thousands of posts on this site about everything you can imagine, but I notice about 80 percent has to do with starting, owning, or running a business. I have no desire to work ever again in my lifetime. I'm only 27, and when I'm 45 I will inherit about 200 thousand amarican dollars. I hope by then to be well established with living in the Philippines, and understanding more about the customs, and language. Specific questions: 1: Based on my profile, do you think I can reasonably survive on $1400 a month with a girlfriend? 2: Are there any areas that are safe and cheap other than Cebu that you could recommend. We would like to live within a few miles of the beach at least. 3: This is the most important. I understand that you can only stay 59 days at a time on a visa extension. How can I get around that? I do not want to be a Philippine citizen. Is it possible to leave the country for a day or so every 59 days and then return and repeat the process? Based on my income and profile, do you think I could qualify for a longer extension? 4: Last question. Does anyone know where people can get a breakdown of the cost of living in the Philippines? Every post I read is vague. They always say it depends on your tastes. I just want to see a general breakdown of an average person. I'm not rich, and not dirt poor.

Is the sour cream in the Philippines UK style (a little thicker than milk), or US style (very thick like pudding). I was surprised when I bought sour cream out in town the first time here in the UK. I got this liquid stuff.

I really appreciate everyones input regarding my questions. You are a gold mine of information for me. Thanks. Here is one more quesiton... In regard to work and employment, how easy is it to get employed in the Philippines? Does it change depending upon location? What are some problems with emmployment in the Philippines?

All of what you said is true, but unlike yourself I have learned to accept it and actually tolerate, if not entirely enjoy, driving here in Cebu myself! Maybe it's just because I've been here a little longer. Filipino drivers are practical as opposed to blindly following the rules, for the most part. Yes, I agree there are the occasional insane, suicidal types, but for the most part everything works somehow, although nothing like in the States, where I come from. Filipino drivers are very forgiving and really don't care if someone cuts in front of them, unlike California where this might provoke a shootout! You will never see a Filipino driver, or myself now for that matter, sitting at a red light at 1:00am with no other car in sight. I will also not hesitate to make a right turn from the middle lane if traffic is very heavy and there is just no way I am going to get into that right lane. Not legal, but I shudder to think what traffic would be like if we followed the rules. It's bad enough as it is. There really is a system here, it works, and once you figure out what it is, driving is just about as stressful as it is anywhere else. Works for me, and a few others here in Cebu City.

Where do you get your information? As a foreigner you can work but when employed by a local company you need a work permit. When employed by a foreign company you do not need the permit. You can not even get one as there is no local legal entity to file the application. A skilled engineer would make between p 25,000.00 and p 40,000.00 a month depending on his position. Our local salaries are between USD 1100 and USD 3500 a month. You would have to be extremely convincing before I would hire a westerner before any Filipino. You can expect the same information from any other employer her in the Philippines so I do agree with that last sentence. If you want to *work* here then get an expat contract before you leave. Since most companies cut back on expenses they tend to cancel all expats first to save money so I wish everyone could luck in trying. If ever you get the opportunity to work here on reasonable conditions then by all means go for the experience and do not pay to much attention to the salary. The experience by itself is worth a lot more and can not me expressed in money.

I firmly believe had you spent some time reading the archives, you would realize how silly your last two questions really sound. No offense intended. Employment? As a foriegner you are not legal to work, unless employed by a foriegn employer. Chances of obtaining this are slim as you will be competing against 95% of every other foriegner who want the same thing. There are VERY FEW jobs available. You cannot legally work at any job that could be filled by a Filipino. Economy? On a scale of one to ten, ten being the american economy, the Philippines would probably rate a two or three. It varies considerably contingent upon area, the cities having a better economy than the remote areas. However, even in the cities a skilled labor position (ie carpenter, electrician, mechanic, etc.) would likely only earn P100 to P200 a day. In american dollars this boils down to less than $4. Foodservice, sales clerks, etc. earn less than that. Takehome pay for these positions range from P2000 to P5000 per month. Roughly translated $40 to $100 a month. It doesn't take a mathematician to figure out this amount of money would not go far. If you are thinking of going to the Philippines to work for a living, you best rethink unless you take employment with you. I don't know any simpler way to put it.

One of my wife's relatives has a serious problem with Shabu. Does anyone have any knowledge of available treatment programs, preferably in the Manila area. Any thoughts or suggestions on dealing with this kind of problems would be appreciated.

Don't waste your money. The kid needs total absence and accumulated time away from druggie infuences. If you spend money to give him a few weeks in a treatment center, especially in a large city, you're pissing money away. You may be under pressure from the family to do something, so there probably isn't time to get philosophical about treatment strategies and programs. I have seen heroin and methamphetamine programs at work in California over the past 4 decades, and most aren't worth a penny, unless they effectively keep the person away from drug influence long enough to get his head thinking right. In my opinion, if you can send him to a farm out in the boonies for 6 months or a year, with some inducement to stay, that is the best thing you can do for him. If he has a serious drug problem, he'll either grow out of it, go to jail or die. The only thing you can contribute to the equation is to keep him away from drug influences long enough to begin to grow out of it. /p>

Yes, I am very familiar with the CARC Farm. It is a great organization/place. I have been donating cash and surplus items there for many years. If fact, since I have started really getting ready for my move to Cebu City (in the last month or so, before I sold my house) I have hauled over four pickup truck loads of "good stuff" to donate for them to sell in their store. Keith, I will be leaving Carlsbad on the 8th. of January and arriving in Cebu City on the 10th. If there is anything I can do for you or your son before I leave please let me know. For example, if there is anything I can purchase here locally for a Christmas gift to be from you, for your son, I will be happy to get it, wrap it, and deliver it.

Having visited the Philippines several times, I realize that one can get by without learning any of the Filipino dialects. Most Filipinos can communicate in English, either fluently or at least enough to understand you. My wife has taught me a little Cebuano, but I'm FAR from fluent. However, if I retire in the Philippines, I'd like to learn a more. How about you guys that are already ""livin' the good life"" -- have any of you become fluent in your local dialect? In your opinion, does it make any difference? Just curious

In my opinion it depends upon where you happen to be in the RP. English seems to be most common in metropolitan areas, but not so in the provinces. You'll find more school age children with English ability in the province because it is taught in all of the schools, as is Tagalog. They are also more fluent in Tagalog despite their local language because radio, TV, movies and romance novels are in Tagalog. It seems that the longer they are out of school, English familiarity diminishes rapidly.

What visa are you using now? You possibly have the best one if you aren't going to stay longer than a year anyway. If you married to a Philippine citizen or former citizen you might apply for a 13a permanent residency, but if you are leaving in a year why bother?

Your first extension (you must have gotten the 21 day visa at the airport) should be for 38 days (P1,620 plus P500 to expedite it plus P500 late charge.). What was the extra P380 for? Before your extension runs out, you'll have to continue to extend it in one month increments up to a year total stay. If you are married to a Filipino you can apply for a 13a, but they say that it won't be issued in any less than 30 days. It may take you that long or more just to collect all of the items they require including a police report from your home and a medical exam. It would seem simpler to just continue to extend your visitor's visa.

Some very nice points, and appreciated. You raise another (to us) important issue and that is the attachment of children and the difficulty in separation. Hadn't thought about that. We did have a bad experience with a married yaya brining her 10-year old son to the house. He did unpleasant things with our kids... we learned a lot from that. BTW, I have been meaning to write to you and say that you have been in our prayers for a while. We know you had a hard time and moving/resettling is always a pain in the butt.

Thanks for the illuminating comments on maid service. I think you may have pointed us in some directions we hope to take but disagree with part of it. We are opening a small school for poor kids. We have a bunch of older computers that will handle windows and we are installing educational software collected over time for kids from 1st through high school. We plan to run it out of some kind of establishment near the house.... We are debating the practices of integrating workers in the house and school. I have a lot of (maybe paranoid) concerns about having lots of people in the house. Have you ran into problems with theft or brining strange people in? Should we worry about talk around the town spread by people who have been in the house? By that I mean, we have some nice things and we have a safe etc.,... is there reason to worry? A lot of our ideas sort of have to do with creating practical boundaries for protection purposes. I would value any thoughts you may care to share on that issue if you have the time to respond.

Thanks for the additional info regarding birth control in the Philippines. Last night I talked with my asawa regarding this, and her observation was that there are active government programs that provide contraceptives, but that few couples are interested in them. (As many of us know, the normal Filipino greeting among women after they are married is ""Are you pregnant yet?"") Point for clarification - If I understood it correctly, Filipino couples have to attend planned parenthood classes before getting married. If so, OOC, what is the sequence of events: 1) apply for marriage license, 2) attend planned parenthood class and get certificate (?), 3) submit certificate and obtain marriage license [after the normal 10 day wait]???

I had a GF who lived in Lilo An, Cebu, with her parents and 4 siblings. I took the family out maybe 5 or 6 times to Mactan/Olango or just to dinner in Cebu. Someone was always absent, home watching the house

I think each location and situation needs to be evaluated upon it's own merits. We live in a small more-or-less isolated community where strangers stick out like sore thumbs. There's a saying, ""There are many eyes in Mohon."" My house in Mohon is like any other house in Mohon. The family I used to sponsor and I have become good friends over the years and I'd trust them with my life. They share my house and take care of it in my long absences. They and most of my neighbors feel responsible for me and I have no reason not to trust them. On one occasion in the evening an old woman came to the store to buy something, but when she unfolded a handkerchief she gasped in horror! She had a P500 note in it, but it was missing! The word quickly went out and dozens of children with kerosene lamps and flashlights combed through the brush and along the road and trails. The note was found after about an hour of looking and the old lady was greatly relieved. On another occasion I had brought some of the neighborhood to the beach where we had a party. When I came back from swimming, I found that I had mis-placed my wristwatch. It was an inexpensive Timex, but everyone scoured the beach and cabin we had rented to no avail. I heard words about that years later, people saying they were ""ashamed"" of that incident because they couldn't find my watch. I think that some stranger boys had taken it, not from our neighborhood. No, I've never been overly concerned. Nothing but some of our pots and plates have ever been missing, but that is ordinary and common neighborly borrowing. They find themselves back eventually. Once in a while one of the cook's favorite knifes may go missing, but she knows where to go to find it. While I was living in Cebu City one summer, I was much more concerned about that because there were many more strangers about. I kept my room locked when I was out and there was a high fence around the house that had iron grills on the windows and doors. Neither I nor any of the other residents had any trouble, though one girl had a problem with her room mate because she kept borrowing her clothes without asking.

I like to hear you write about your experiences because I believe I can identify with the community spirit. I think it used to be that way in the farm community I grew up in, but I have lived in big cities for many years and have always had multiple locks and all that implies. I truly hope we can establish ourselves in a community just as you have. I suppose my concerns regarding maids stems in part from our experiences with other service providers- laborers, etc. We once hired some folks to help build part of a room. As they worked, I learned that they were unskilled basically, unwilling to acknowledge that, unable to finish the job properly and very put off when they were confronted. Since then I have come to think of myself as being culturally ignorant when it comes to RP and have worked really hard to learn values that are essential to long life in RP (mabuhay..::)) I leave a lot of the interpersonal stuff to my wife and try to minimize those parts of my behaviors that I perceive as being viewed as arrogant by filipinos. I suppose she will actually hire our new yayas and for sure, will supervise them.

I think you have the right attitude. Nothing is served by becoming obsessive or paranoid about the safety or security of your ""stuff"". Learn to take the usual preventatives and enjoy life as you find it. Except for when I was in the city, all the extra help has come from family, friends or neighbors. All of them without exception have been known to somebody. We've had a few who I'd feel cautious about leaving them near the cash drawer, but it was just a feeling and nothing of substance. We make a practice of not allowing just anyone around the cash drawer anyway. I've been very fortunate to be living among some good folks. We have in the community at least five master masons and two skilled carpenters. They all double as painters, electricians and plumbers, each doing what needs to be done on a job. It's not unusual to see one of the very skilled masons digging a septic tank for instance. While I have them working I also try to hire a few interested young men who want to learn the trades as helpers. So I suppose over the years we've generated our own labor pool. One advantage of living in a place and becoming part of the community over time. Your wife may already know about evaluating and hiring and if she doesn't she'll be quicker to learn than you. I think it is a good idea to let her front your business whatever it might be, but keep your ear to the ground and learn the skill yourself. Happy life to you, wherever you decide to plant your retirement roots!

Didn't hit a nerve really. It's just reality that you better not leave it empty or it may get robbed. May have some exceptions in gated communities like Don's but maybe not.

This situation, like any other, depends on the circumstances. I happen to live in a two story townhouse that is surrounded by a wall and fence that could have been designed by Vlad the Impaler. I feel very secure, and have left my home unattended for two weeks at a time with no problems. I leave my front door open for ventilation all day with no worries. I also happen to live on a relatively busy street and anyone attempting a breakin would probably be noticed. Personally, if I lived in a detached single family home, I would definitely have a full time helper and not leave the house unattended. This is in Cebu City and things might be different if I were living in the province. Even there I would think twice about leaving my home vacant. Let's face it. There are just too many people here that have little or nothing, and most of them figure that you probably have more than you really need.

This situation, like any other, depends on the circumstances. I happen to live in a two story townhouse that is surrounded by a wall and fence that could have been designed by Vlad the Impaler. I feel very secure, and have left my home unattended for two weeks at a time with no problems. I leave my front door open for ventilation all day with no worries. I also happen to live on a relatively busy street and anyone attempting a breakin would probably be noticed. Personally, if I lived in a detached single family home, I would definitely have a full time helper and not leave the house unattended. This is in Cebu City and things might be different if I were living in the province. Even there I would think twice about leaving my home vacant. Let's face it. There are just too many people here that have little or nothing, and most of them figure that you probably have more than you really need.

My daughters, now age 13 and 16, have bounced back and forth several times between private RP schools and public US schools. Depending on who they were living with, me or my Filipina ex-wife. Without exception, when they entered a US school (after leaving a RP school) they were far ahead of their classmates, and were always placed into "gifted" programs. When they returned to the RP, they to play "catch up" with their classmates. The girls had no problems assimilating into either country's school system. They are both fluent in English/American and Tagalog. Both girls are in the US now. My 16 year old just graduated from High School (10th. year of school) in Digos City, Davao del Sur in March, and has applied for admission to Texas Tech University in Lubbock, Texas. We don't know yet if she will be accepted.

good points. I've seen those fortresses in Cebu City and I'm sure that it's fairly safe to leave your place unattended for a time without too many worries. Our tastes are more along the lines of a detached home slightly out of the city. Maybe in Consolacion or there abouts. Close enough to the malls to suit the wife yet far enough away from the traffic and crowds to suit me. We're still about 10 years away from semi retirement (if the stock market quits dropping) so it's a little too soon to be buying but not too soon to be looking. It certainly is good to be able to draw on the experience of those of you who are already living there. It'll make things that much easier for the rest of us who are still in the planning stages.

Hi all, here is one story I would like to share and needs to get around. On one occasion in Surigao City I had to go to a Internet Café to do some net banking, while I was doing my bit Eileen was sitting next to me (stopping any prying eyes). Next to her was a young man (I did not take much notice at the time) chatting to someone on the net. As it turns out he was pretending to be a woman and replying to some one in the US, From what Eileen told me he was asking for some more money US$200.00 (about 10,000.00 Peso) and was looking forward to him coming over to the Philippine and saying a lot of romantic words etc. What got up my nose was there is some innocent person being scammed and does not know it, if I caught glimpse of sender's Email address I would have warned him. I spoke to a local foreigner of this and he said the man is known and has many ""boyfriends"" but they cannot catch him. In short if you know of anybody emailing to a Filipina be 110% sure you have a female on the other end.

Tell you what guys and gals your right there is some scamming going on via these internet dating services. Allot of time us guys at work get bored and go to a certain internet chat room. I won't tell you the name but it's initials are ""CB"". Anyway in order to be a member of the service you have to put up some money i.e. if you are a guy. But you can logon and register for free if you claim to be female. I think you get the idea. Anyway when the other girls think your a girl they send little secret messages to each other. On more than one occasion I have been asked if I had made any money lately. In other words have I gotten any of the guys to send me money via mail. I even had one girl ask me how much money I make in Japan because she would really like to get a Visa so she could come here and make some real money. So beware any of you using these services.

Regarding using HK as a flight hub and ""very cheap deals"". I'm afraid that during my 8 years here I have not found this to be the case. I just got back from Tokyo (R/T USD641 CX) and the hotel there was JPY16000 (USD160) a night including breakfast - it was the lowest rate I found on the net in the location I needed. It is possible to book package deals (flights/hotels/transfers etc.) through travel agents to Asian destinations at a lower cost but it is easier to do this when you are actually *in* HK rather than from outside. Cathay have a holiday section on their web and may be worth checking but generally speaking I have found that airline flag carriers in their home country (CX in HK) are comparitively quite expensive. You may be able to check carriers that have fifth freedom rights out of HK (foreign carriers allowed to pick up pax in HK) say Thai to Taiwan or Finnair to Bangkok and the cost will probably be less than CX. In my experience over the years though, it is, on the whole, not cheap to fly anywhere from HK, but I guess that goes for air travel in general. I will say however that HK has a super airport and is very efficient if you are connecting here. If staying, it is about 30 minutes by train to downtown (75 mins by bus). Hotels in HK have suffered because of the global financial situation but room rates as low as USD70 (downtown) will not provide the best of creature comforts but again, deals can be spotted on the internet, particularly if you stay a fairly short distance outside the centre. Everywhere in HK is accessible by an excellent transport network.

I like Cagayan de Oro (CDO) also. Good roads and infra-structure compared to Cebu City. CDO is large enough for my taste as well, and it appeared to me that additional Shopping Malls are coming in (Robinson's and SM City), if they will ever get them built . Prices seems a little cheaper than Cebu. My Filipino brother-in-law (a Urologist), and his wife (a Pediatrician) live there. There seems to be fewer ex-pats living there, as compared to Cebu. Some of the shop girls were not as comfortable with English. More Muslims. Pretty decent restaurants.