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Dear friends and guests.

There is an article:"Why Filipinos Are Happy,"at Why Filipinos are Happy. It is good. But it does not tell the whole story, at least from the standpoint of the international scientific community. The part of the site above, the small part below my ramble, does. But the article below is not written about Filipinos. It is written about people generally. It is about brain development. Yet it is a key to understanding Filipino-foreigner differences.

What does this mean to you as an foreigner, expat or potential expat in this country? If you interact with the local people it means a lot. You will be interacting with happy people. It will rub off on you. "Rub off on you," is an interesting choice of word here. You will understand after you read what it written below. Because it is about *touching,* massage, physical contact so I guess rubbing too.

We talk about successful people our "developed" "first world" counties and almost exclusively in terms of education, wealth and employment position. But we know some who are educated wealthy and hold high positions are unhappy people. So can we really say education, wealth and position are the right tools to use to measure success? We all want to be happy. That is our main goal. You hear even the most successful people say, " All I want it so be happy." They feel that maybe more money will make them a happy person, a better job, another degree, another person, mate, friend, a higher position, one that brings more respect. But in recent years, scientists and philosophers tend to agree, happiness comes from within. If so, how does it get there?

A lot of it has to do with self concept, something the starts developing very early in life.This self concept is not solely but critically influenced by the amount of toughing a child gets touching. Touching may be the paramount key, certainly in early development, to knowing you are here, knowing you are an organism, one of value, importance and worth.

In developed countries we don't get much touching as children. We as children even as babies sleep in rooms alone. We cry about it but can't do much more. It is not good for us, so the scientist say. Here in the Philippines, children are "gifts from God." And because of the communal life orientation they belong to everyone. Here people will touch your children, lovingly. Parents sleep with their children for a long time, some time until the children reach puberty. (Recently I mentioned a woman friend asking me if I felt she and her husband should get their boy out of their bed because he is ten years old. I asked what did she think. She said she was though it was time to move him but didn't want to put him in another room, alone. I suggested she just put him in another bed in the same room. She did and she and her husband, and the boy were happy with that solution.) Children are held even massaged.

I was in Bolanao, Pangasinan in the early 1990's in a restaurant for breakfast. It was a popular, not an expensive place, one of the few in town. In one part there was a place where women were massaging babies for what ever fee the mother could afford. I never saw such a thing. The babies seemed to like it even though it looked to rough for me. They squirmed as though they may be in pain. I found this is a common practice, at least in that area of the Philippines. And now in the "developed" counties they are catching on. They are starting baby massage classes for parents. Here, in the Philippines, people are not afraid to touch. In our developed countries, where there are many emotionally unstable and depressed people, folks keep their distance, a "respectful," distance. And you don't touch a person of higher status, no way. "Wealthy successful" Japan is a place where touching is almost prohibited. It suicide rate per 100,000 is many times higher than the Philippines.. The Philippines has a very low one. Some say it is because of the Catholic church. But the low rate here before the Church came. Even the word suicide here *susayid* was imported. (In tribal based societies, suicide is not a valid concept. In communal based thinking, there is not individual to kill because everyone is part of the whole.)

These "poor," Filipinos are wealthy in early childhood touching. And they are wealthy in happiness, relationships, emotional stability, love for themselves and one another. Many of them who can't wait to go to the States, are happier to get back to where they feel like they belong. They are joyful to return to where people are respected and loved, where people smile, not scowl, where there is more laughter and less stress and anger, less concern with time and "accomplishment." They are happy to return to where being a *good* person is as much value as being a wealthy one, or more so. They are happy to get back to their country where being a good loving caring person is more important that being a good student or holding high position or having "big bucks."

Unfortunately, some feel, times are changing here, I believe culturally, for the worse. I have seen it over the last 25 years. But as long children get the touching they *require,* for developing happiness, in their early years, they will continue to smile and be happy. They will be "True Filipinos" And they will continue to be loyal to their friends, relatives and loved ones.

I hope you who have not experienced living in this communal milieu, this supportive environment of interdependence, do get over soon enjoy it. If you can't take a lot of happiness and laid back people who are not in a hurry to go anywhere, at least you can see it first hand. They you can go back to where you belong if you want. Or you can stay and let it "rub off on you."

Very best always,
Don

EARLY BRAIN DEVELOPMENT

What parents and caregivers need to know!
by Phyllis Porter, M.A.

Touch is critical to development! Of all the sensory experiences, touch is how the infant first knows he is loved. It is the source of comfort. Holding is reassuring in the face of strangeness. For an older child, touching a "lovey" gives security in new situations. [I don't know and cant' find the word, "lovey." May be a mistake.]

Touch literally sends signals to the brain telling it to grow (make connections).

There is much research about infant massage. In preemies, massage causes faster growth, calmer babies and better development. Babies who are massaged daily develop movement earlier, sleep more soundly and have less colic. Without this touch nurturing at an early age, infants can NEVER develop. Think about it! While in utero, babies actually are "massaged" much of the time as a result of the mother's physical mobility and movements. Infants need this experience to grow. For both the brain and the body, touch is a critical nutrient, as critical as vitamins. Touch lets the child know that "Yes, I am a wanted organism and it is worth survival."

More at http://www.educarer.com/brain.htm