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Who Will Go With Me Without Chaperone?
Hello everyone! I'm Greg, fifty one, live in the States and am single. Over here I've interacted with a handful of Filipino's (I work with two) and have been wowed by their pleasant and charming dispositions, so I joined the group to learn more about your culture.
As I am single, I would dearly love to find a partner for the second half of my life. From what I've experienced (now please understand, this is simply based upon their beauty and their lovely and gracious disposition) I think I'd be very foolish indeed to not at least open the door to the possibility of a Filipina Bride.
So my question to the group: If I should happen to meet a Filipina, around my age, whom I found totally captivating, and of course, she would seem to be interested in me also, would a chaperoned date be expected?
Thanks a lot!
Most Filipinas your age have been involved in having children and taking care of many. Few are free from multiple family obligations. Most my age are dead. I was asked why I did not find a woman my age. I said truthfully, "Because I did not want to dig one up," literally!
It may be better to look for a younger woman who has not been through a bad relationship or two. Remember here, though you and I may not agree, marriage is forever. And if a woman quits marriage even because the man is abusive, unfaithful, etc., she is considered disloyal, will probably even consider herself so, have serious guilt feelings. It is her responsibility and her family's responsibility to see the marriage works. If she has never been married, there could be problems too. Why was she not married? That it what life is about for a Filipinas, next to her family.
I am not saying you must "rob the cradle,” Greg. But there are many younger but mature women who make good companions and great wives. And they have no "excess baggage from a previous bad relationship." There are some great widows available. But even some of them will not remarry, believe in the one and only, will not be disloyal to her husband and his family.
After a few dates with her and her friends, she is almost committed to you, like it or not. She will see you alone. But by then you are it. Women here do not a rule ever have more than one boy friend at a time often never more than one in a life time. That is scandalous. Of course some do. But even the other Filipinas frown on it.
Most likely if you go out more than once, you are the one and only, she will go out with you alone. But if you are not interested in her friends and family she will be hurt, or confused, generally speaking, will not understand. Relationships run very deep here. These people are literally a part of her, not just relatives and friends. It is much more complicate than it seems on the surface. This is so, although most of the foreigners don't dig that much to see it, don't care, or are not sensitive enough to others to feel it. Filipinos have that sensitivity to others as a cultural trait. Westerners and may other Asians don't have it or have it to a much lesser extent.
I know you will take you time, Greg. Get to know many women here of all ages, men too. If you enjoy them and the culture, get to like it, you will have a joyful life here I am sure most foreigners here will agree.
Eliz Hombrebueno Wrote:
Sir, thank you for your website I’m glad to have found one written by an expat. I shared this site to my American friends online though I have sent a few of them some books about our culture and some maps too.
I find your website more complete in information especially where love, romance, and marriage (and virginity) issues are concerned. Some are looking for a Pinay wife. I admit I find it hard to explain to them some things about being a Pinay. I live in Cagayan de Oro City by the way. Hope you get to update about our city too.
Anyway, more power to you and God Bless you and your family.