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- Category: Romance and Marriage
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Meeting a woman through someone else is a good idea. If you meet an older man or woman who has some status, be direct and say, "I am looking for a wife." "They will not be shocked," I assure you, but delighted, if you are truly a gentleman. Filipino men often wanted to take me home to meet their sisters and cousins. A couple of time I went. I was not allowed to be with the Filipina unsupervised and understood that from the beginning. And if you don't like the sister or cousin, he will find another relative to introduce you to around the corner. He will want to keep you in the family, but only if you can understand and relate to the culture. If not, problems may arise.
The Filipinos and Filipinas are communal, interdependent not independent. When you marry one you marry the family at least the mother and the father, the siblings too usually. That is trite, indeed, but true. Be sure and read the Family section of the culture page and see if you can deal with what is expected, almost required, a right of the Filipino family whose child is married to a man, foreign or local. If you can't let it be know from the start of your relationship with your Filipina. If she is a "true Filipina," the relationship may not develop. If it does she may not be happy in it, but you will never know. "Pen pal" listings, E-mail pals, Introduction services are other ways to meet Filipinas and Filipinos. I did not meet my wife through one of these services. I took the time to come here and find one who was not interested in marrying a foreigner. I am glad I did. But I do know many who have great success and many who had serious failures who used these services.
These services are illegal to own and operate in the Philippines, though not in any other countries I know about. With e-mail, text pals and the Internet it is easy to meet girls here and establish relationships without an illegal broker. If you join one of these services, though you may feel it is the only way for you to go, do consider another avenue. A trip here does not cost much. And marriage can be for a life time, or should be. There is no divorce her. The girls get into these services free. The men must pay. You may be writing to several women. They may be writing to dozens of men. Getting involved in any romantic relationship is always fraught with pitfalls. But for some, it is worth the risk, they feel. In a relationship built in a text-based environment, without visual clues, the people involved tend to fill in the blanks with desired attributes of the other person that often turn out to be inaccurate. The person you are writing to may only have the qualities you see in here because you bestowed them on her in your mind. If you are reading this after having already established a romantic relationship with a Filipina, I am sure you are saying, "My Filipina is different."
A romantic relationship with a Filipino or Filipina has a better chance of success if you come over and immerse yourself in the culture. And it is important to meet a woman's or man's family because the family is so important to him or her. And maybe the family will always will be more important than you. There is an Asia saying that is accepted in the Philippines, "You can get another wife or husband but not another mother or father. "Filipino children are committed to their parents who usually went through a lot to raise them. There desire is to make their parents life easier. If you are capable and refuse to help support her family who may need it because of the very hard economic situation here, she may not say anything, but she will neither respect you nor understand. As said, but it can't be said enough, Filipinos and Filipinas are interdependent people, not dependent, like in western cultures. They are so by choice and because their cultural needs.